Ode to a Peacock

There was a peacock who couldnt sleep
He tossed and turned and counted sheep
But he could not find his happy place
Or find rest to soothe his pretty face

Oh you peacock, your feathers are bright
They are large, colorful, silky and light
They scare the other animals of the wild
Parents take pictures to give to their child

Oh you peacock, how we admire when you strut
Such elegance and charm only gods could construct
Look kindly on those beneath your feathers
Don't hold to yourself all your earthly treasures

Oh you Peacock, like a wild bear
Reign in your domain with care
Don't forget your long scarfs to share
Don't our imperfection to your perfection compare

What is good art?

I had a very interesting conversation with some Belmont students this last week on Art. We were talking about how music is developing and what the difference is between being a someone who plays an instrument or sings and an artist. There is a difference. Just like there is a difference between things that are "created" and art. This raised the question is there such a thing as good art? Of course there are two problems that arise when we ask this question: first how do we define what is art, and second how do we define what is good?
Its difficult for me to really define what is art because it is something that is so subjective. We hear the stereotypical examples of modern and post-modern paintings where the paint was thrown or done with some kind of bizarre techniques. What do most of us say? I could have done that. Of course the illogical thing to that is that we didn't do it, but someone else thought of it. Another question that arises is must art have the intention of being art? If someone makes a chair is it art or simply someone making something? I think that there needs to be the intention of something being created to be art.
The hardest question is what is good in the context of this question? Of course this is something that is extremely subjective. But couldnt we all agree that Beethoven is good art? Rembrandt made good art? So maybe good art is only those that have stood the test of time. Making the Beetles, Elvis, U2 good art?
I would love to hear thoughts on this issue.

hopeless and wretched

I am amazed at how easily it is to mess up. It seems that i fall down all the time. Sure we get back up. Try again, but how many times does god forgive and give chances? Maybe we have to come to place where we dont like our sin so much that we feel hopeless and wretched. Of course that is the problem...hating our sin. Its easy to say it when we ask for forgiveness because we know that it is what we are supposed to say and acknowledge. I dont have true it actually is in my own heart. The problem is that i do hate it. I hate it because i know that it hurts the heart of god. I know that i "feel" guilt. And as Spurgeon said, "nothing torments a man's soul like a convicted conscience." But then why do i go back? As human beings our brains are designed to avoid those things that dont feel good. Most sin doesnt even feel good in the act. Of course there is some desire there otherwise it would not be attractive. But if i know that it hurts god, i know that it torments my soul, and i know that i will not enjoy it, why do I run without question, and without hesitation? I long to be free. Free from myself. Maybe thats not a good desire, obviously putting blame on oneself must be in the right attitude, otherwise it is merely feeling sorry for oneself or self-mutilation. I want neither of those. I simply want to be free from the addiction of sin. Yes addiction because it is the only word to describe the tendency of going back again and again to the same place looking for something. I want god to find pleasure in me, to let his holy presence dwell with me. How i long to be able to have intimacy with him. I have come to understand that i am hopeless and wretched. left to myself I am simply a guide and leader to my own destruction. With my strength i am not able to fight the slightest desires. I implore the giver of hope, and the leader of the hopeless to give the strength of self-control, and the grace to be free.

You must have a name

There’s a social place with many people
Laughter can be heard all around
A couple whispers loving secrets
Books and words greatly abound

You sit alone and lonely you are
You must have a story; you must have a name
Every face itself has seen in a thousand mirrors
Every eye has cried tears of pain

This morning the world wakes up
Your existence unknown and unsought
Tonight every eye will shuts in wandering dreams
You say a little prayer wishing it to be eternity

Sitting there in your chair I see your thoughts:
Will no one come speak to me you ask?
Is there no one who cares to hold my hand?
Does no one notice I don’t smile anymore?

I don’t know if tonight will let you live one more day
I don’t know honestly if I would notice if you died
I don’t know if any tears would be shed for your loss
But I do know that I saw you sitting there, and I won’t forget

Summer's breeze

There is a breeze in the air that delights
All the senses both touch and sight
It smells of spring and winter’s farewell
And a stirring to find where adventures dwell

The colors of the wind mesmerize me
They seduce my soul and lead me
To the forest where the trees dance in the wind
They sway hoping to touch each others limb

Then the breeze suddenly passes on
Silence descends like mist on a pond
It leaves you frozen surrounded by trees
Afraid and in love simultaneously unable to flee

Silence comes as a woman, one who is despised today
Despised for peering into your soul, evil and good she weighs
She opens the doors of your darkest chambers
Mocking and judging your prideful arrogance

Can you hear it? The sound of Pan’s echo
His voice has seduced many a friend and foe
He calls those by their names and commands the wind
Winds with a purpose, a specific destination and origin

Oh mighty wind, your calls make me ache
Take me with you to be wild and never wake
Call my name and lead me to where trees speak
And that woman silence with me to dwell will seek

why care?

I was thinking today about why we care. Maybe a better way to ask, and really the question that i asked was why do I care. This question can include a lot of different things. Why do i care about what people think about me? Why do i care about how people feel? Why do I care about getting to know other people when they don't care to get to know me? We uphold the great people of history that put others before themselves. Jesus spoke of being a servant and encouraged putting others first. Gandhi and Mother Teresa cared for those in who society left to die. But why? Why do we want to be like them?
The reality is that our lives revolve around ourselves. I have come to realize how terribly self-centered i am. I want to come and people to ask me how i am doing and care about my story and my life. This is not a bad desire, perhaps there is nothing more human than to be wanted and to desire to be loved. But why do we think that it is necessity for us to care for others? Why do we ask how people are and ask people about their lives when most of those people we completely do not think about and care about when we are not in their company. Maybe our conscience requires feeling like it has caused us to step outside of our comfort zone in order to make someone else feel better.
I guess I don't understand why we care...why does the need to make other people feel better cause us such great concern? Most people dont care about others. Humanity is beautiful...we truly are beautiful creatures capable of the most wonderful acts of kindness and love. But why...

Disgusted

It takes a lot of guts to speak up against something in today's society. The only thing that is safe to criticize are christians and the church. Say something negative about Jews, gays, blacks, muslims, and polish and you get shocked gasps of how could you and calls of bigot. We see it in our political world as well. Everything is sacred except when one acts on the foundation of christian rights.
For some reason we have come to a place where we think that peace is the only way to go. The only way for us to behave is peaceful. What makes this even more interesting is that this "peaceful" movement is led by young people. College students and young professionals. People that have never known true war, devastation and hardship. They go about speaking about how war is evil and destructive. They weep when speaking about aggressive policies that lead to suffering. This comes from people that have never gone hungry, never held a victim of war, and never suffered the consequences of violence. I am disgusted with this. We have become desperately passive.
How i envy those who have the passion to die for what they believe! How i envy those who are willing to fight for their cause! People are stupid enough to think that peace is good always. Why do we just sit and do nothing? The heroes that we admire throughout history shook the world because they fought. Jesus included. How i long to be part of a crusade! Yes i know that evil word. There has been a castration of youth and i dont want to be part of it anymore.