Heart Yearns

How my heart yearns
To know what it wants.
How it years, aches, pounds
For something that has meaning
For something that has feeling.
Laughter and smiling faces,
Sadness and weeping eyes,
Emotion and satisfaction,
Lust and seduction,
Comfort and tenderness,
Unconditional love and intimacy,
Dancing and pulsing bodies with joy,
A child’s smile, an elder’s wisdom,
Living life side by side with someone,
Finding something new in every moment,
Knowing my God and His abundant love,
Seeing Him in every atom, in every galaxy.
Wonder and mystery, never satisfied
Never happy, yet always full of joy
Full of questions, full of answers
Seeing every star and pondering their names
Seeing every tree and awed by their stories.
Wondering what each could tell, what each could share
Full of memory, full of life
Full of passing from one era to the next.
How short, how fleeting life is.
It starts with crawling and crying
It continues with uneasiness in yourself;
Hoping that someone cares that you are unique.
Then ambition hits and every step is climbing the ladder.
You want to be significant; to matter
Every moment is spent trying to make a difference.
Then age catches you and the only thing that matters
Are those that saw you crawl so many years ago.
It ends with crying, hoping and wonder.
Wondering whether someone will care,
Wondering whether someone will notice you were unique,
Wondering whether those that you saw crawl will be with you.
Then it ends with a final breath, a final gasp
It ends like it began, gasping for one more breath
Gasping for one more glimpse…just one more look.
Experiencing death is perhaps the most important part of life.
It is only the second thing that we all experience:
Birth and death, the thing that makes us truly fragile and mortal.
We desperately don’t want it to end, we desperately want to delay it.
We want to add more breathes to the last one that will come.
But we know it will come, so we try to make it count
We try to make it worth it, we try to find glory,
We strive for riches, fame, acceptance and greatness.
We try to experience every pleasure we can think of,
Every imaginative experience that we can conceive we try.
But then we see it coming, and it all of a sudden become worthless.
It is in that moment that we truly know what it was that we couldn’t find.
Maybe it is because people have been seeking it, always falling short.
It’s like a storm coming in from the sea
It gets closer and closer, darker and darker.
The rumbles get louder, and the waves get bigger
Then all of sudden it gets quiet, the wind stops for a moment
And it seems that every leaf, every drop of water and grain of sand listens.
In that moment there is something that every creature, every atom strives for
It is what every human being was really looking for, what they longed for.
Every atom stops, and every sound is gone, because it feels something,
Something deep and able to be described in one word. Peace.
Let me feel like I have never felt,
Let me see like I have never seen,
Love like I have never love, and give like I have never given.
Let me know what it means to breath my first and last every day,
So that when my last day comes I will feel that peace.
That peace that passes all understanding.